Relationships

Love is in the air…..well, it's the month of love anyway, Valentines' Day.

Let's talk about love and relationships, where our profession is concerned.

Our job as a teacher, is based on relationships. We need to be able to get along with people of all ages. We need to connect with the students we lead, as well as the people who lead us. We also need to develop relationships with our fellow colleagues and parents. In The 360 Degrees Leader, John C Maxwell rightfully indicated that " People won't go along with you if they can't get along with you."

Teacher-Student Relationship

First and foremost, let us ask ourselves as to why we choose teaching as a profession. I believe that if you are actually reading this article right now, you certainly have the to touch lives, and to bring hope to those who are seeking for it. How then do we go about building a healthy relationship with our students? The answer is trust. Students, though young, are able to discern if a teacher cares for them. If you earn your students' trust over time by showing them that you care and you would want them to succeed in life, you will definitely gain change with them. They will continue to remember you even as they graduate from school and continue their life-journey into adulthood and all because you have impacted their lives, through your actions and your words

Teacher-Teacher Relationship

Most of us may be fortunate to have caring and wonderful colleagues to work with. For the rest, have you ever been around a colleague who complains all the time or speaks negatively about their students or others? Don't you find it exhausting? What can we do as their colleagues in order to help them and to encourage them? Well, let's face it, regardless of which job you are in, there are bound to be unpleasant colleagues around. Let us be patient, and be nice towards them. Let us be the peacemaker. Smile. We can always choose to associate ourselves with people who can lift us up, likewise, let's not forget we can also return this favour unto others.

Teacher-Senior Management Relationship

All of us have Reporting Officers, even Principals have to report to their own Reporting Officers.

Let us talk about our Senior Management in school. This is a group of teachers, by profession, who have been called to lead and manage the school, ensuring that systems and processes are in place. Your HODs are unique. I would call them Super-Dupers or Busy Bees. Not only do they have to juggle their teaching load, they have to see to the administrative side of running a department and sometimes the school.

If you have a good relationship with your HOD, that's wonderful. However, if you do not have a good relationship with your HOD, it makes going to school a dread. But hey! You can improve this situation by actually sitting down and have a heart to heart talk with your HOD. This sounds easy, but do try it and bare your soul. It beats grumbling and complaining all day, which can be very unpleasant and this in turn could affect another colleague's mood. HODs are human too, and they do have pressures and stress, just like you!

Let's be positive - If you feel that you have been doing a lot for your HOD, just bear in mind that an exceptional leader is one who gets average people to do superior work!

Teacher-Parent Relationship

Teachers and parents have a love-hate relationship. There are parents who will send you baskets of fruits to show their appreciation for what you have done to their children. These are the parents you love. Then, there are also parents who call you and scream through the phone (you have to literally hold the phone away from your ear as they are so loud) stating unreasonable demands, such as " Why must your CCA venue be so far away? Petrol prices have gone up you know!" Hmmmm……these are the parents whom you have to grit your teeth, and fume with madness,each time you talk to them.

Why can't we all have love-love relationships with parents? Why can't parents understand that we teachers are not customer-service operators, but we are here to teach, mould and inculcate values into their children so that they will grow up to be useful and resilient citizens in time to come?

I hear you, and I understand your frustrations.

This is the world for you and me. In the meantime, let us just think of those parents who send us fruits. Just the thought of them wipes away the others, and puts a smile on our faces!

In conclusion, we are all living in a fast paced society whereby everything is instant and fast. We get frustrated when it takes a few extra seconds for the lap-top to warm up. We need to bear in mind that in order for us to build a meaningful relationship with people, it takes time. Our time.

Emily Huang
CHIJ Katong Convent

Managing Expectations

It doesn't matter if you are a beginning teacher, a 5 year old teacher or a teacher who has just received the long-service award - you have work to do. It doesn't matter if your work is recognized by the whole world or only you see it. It doesn't matter if you are getting a better performance bonus or receiving no financial compensation whatsoever.

Your work is valuable.

Whatever job we are given to do in school, be it CCA, organizing an event, or even teaching an academic subject in class, we want to do it well and be successful. When we accomplish something worthwhile that makes life better for our students or colleagues, it gives us satisfaction. But when the work of our hands is not recognized, we are weighed down with frustration and unfulfillment.

The good news is, you have been called into this profession, and this is definitely not by chance. Continue to grow and improve in skills that you may lack so that you may do your work well. May you find great satisfaction in every aspect of teaching, even the more difficult and unpleasant parts.

My dear friends, please remember that no matter what your paycheck reflects, your work is important to your students, your colleagues, your school, and it's important to you.

Don't Quit!