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List of tips on how to relax :
| 1. |
Enjoy quiet moments of silence and reflection. |
| 2. |
Have heartfelt conversations over a cuppa. |
| 3. |
Listen to 'Canon in D Major', while working. |
| 4. |
Go for a night drive along Thomson/ ECP. |
| 5. |
Shopping for SHOES!!! Therapy!!! |
| 6. |
Stretch myself silly! (yoga 101). |
| 7. |
Always have a quiet
moment over a cup of tea at half past three- no matter where you are and what you
are doing. |
| 8. |
Be quiet and still before bed time. Hold the thoughts for the day in one hand, and the plans for the next day in another. Give both some thought and time until you feel at peace with your
decisions. Then go to bed. |
| 9. |
Exercise regularly and read a nice book. |
Lighten Up – Humour
Obeying The Teacher
When I first began teaching, I was assigned to a notorious P2 class. There was a boy who would always fail his weekly spelling with the same score of 4 out of 10. He could have passed his spelling if he had put in a little more effort. After weeks of painful coaxing and encouragement, I finally could not stand it anymore. I had to resort to the fierce tactic. “I don't want to see you scoring 4 out of 10 again and again! This is the final time! Do you understand?!”
The poor boy, shocked by the sudden outburst, meekly nodded his head.
So the boy never scored 4 out of 10 again for his next spelling. Instead, he scored 3 out of 10.
English Name
My colleague and I were put in charge of the NAPFA test 1.6 km run. We had to record the names of all the P4 boys taking the test and there were quite a number of them whom I had never taught before. Hence, recording their names, especially the Chinese boys' Hanyu Pinyin names, could be a chore.
One particular boy told me that his name was Wong Chee Kiang. I vaguely remembered that this boy had a Christian name. In my hurry, I asked him, “Don't you have an English name?”
The boy scratched his head and instead of saying no, he replied matter-of-factly, “Yes, that's my English name, Wong Chee Kiang loh! W-O-N-G C-H-E-E K-I-A-N-G!” Giving me that “What-a-dumb-question-to-ask” look, he began his 1.6 km run, leaving me completely stumped.
My colleague couldn't stop laughing at my plight.
Milk Collection
This was an old-time joke in my school. In the past, the children were encouraged to order milk packets. It was a daily routine for the monitors and prefects to collect the milk packets from the office at a fixed time and distribute them to their classmates.
One fine day, the milk delivery from the milk company was delayed. In the midst of the lessons, the usually stern discipline mistress announced over the P.A system, “Gentlemen, the cows have finally arrived. Will the milk boys please get your milk buckets and collect the newly-arrived milk downstairs?”
The whole school roared, and our former discipline mistress' sense of humour has been remembered till this day.
A Teacher's Worth
Very often, teaching a weak class can be very discouraging. Not only are the pupils weak in their studies, they may also be disruptive in behaviour. One day, she was so discouraged and frustrated by her weak class that she lamented in vexation, “Sometimes I really wonder why I am here for.”
One boy really gave her words full thought. After much deliberation, he exclaimed excitedly, “I know, I know, teacher. God sent you here to be our heroine. You are here to SAVE us. We need you here to SAVE us!”
My colleague just stood there, not knowing whether to cry or to laugh.
Tough Teacher
A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fitted under his shirt and was not noticeable at all.
On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as widely as possible and then busied himself with desk work. The classroom became a bit unruly and he admonished them. This happened several times.
When he could do his work at his desk, the strong breeze from the window made his tie flap annoyingly. He kept rearranging and rearranging the tie as the classroom raised its level of unruliness.
Finally, becoming disgusted with the wayward tie, he stood up and took a stapler off his desk and stapled the tie to his chest in several places.
Discipline was not a problem from that day forth.
(Extracted from http://www.thehumorsource.com )
Wealth, Wisdom or Beauty
An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behaviour, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom or beauty.
Without hesitation, the dean selects infinite wisdom.
“Done!” says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.
Now, all heads turn towards the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, “Say something.”
The dean sighs and says, “I should have taken the money.”
(Extracted from http://www.thehumorsource.com )
Who's Stupid?
One day, a college professor of psychology was greeting his new college class.
He stood up in front of the class and said, “Would everyone, who thinks he or she is stupid, please stand up?”
After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.
“Well, hello there sir. So you actually think you're a moron?” the professor asked.
The young man replied, “No sir. I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself.”
(Extracted from http://www.pbbt.com/funnystuff )
Spoken English
Teacher: Where is your pencil, Hermon?
Pupil: I ain't got none.
Teacher: How many times have I told you not to say that, Hermon? Now listen. I do not have a pencil. You do not have a pencil. They do not have a pencil. Now, do you understand?
Pupil: Not really. What happened to all the pencils?
(Extracted from http://www.schooljokes.com )
Writing and Spelling
Teacher: Fred, I'm glad to see your writing has improved.
Pupil: Thank you.
Teacher: Now I can see how bad your spelling is though.
(Extracted from http://www.schooljokes.com )
Homework Casualty
Son: Dad, I am tired of doing homework.
Father: Now, son, hard work never killed anyone.
Son: I know, but I don't want to be the first.
(Extracted from http://www.schooljokes.com )
Injustice
Teacher: Give me an example on injustice.
Student: When my father makes mistakes in the homework, the teacher blames me.
(Extracted from http://www.entrainbow.com )
How Poor Are We?
One day, a father and his rich family took his son to a trip to the country with the firm purpose to show him how poor people can be. They spent a day and a night in the farm of a very poor family. When they got back from their trip, the father asked his son, “How was the trip?”
“Very good, Dad!” replied his son.
“Did you see how poor people can be?” the father asked.
“Yeah!”
“And what did you learn?”
The son answered, “I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden; they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden; they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard, they have a whole horizon.” When the little boy was finishing, his father was speechless.
His son added, “Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are!”
(By Author Unknown)
Checking my answers
A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says, "What are you doing?" He says, "Checking my answers."
My homework
A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?"
The little girl replied, "My homework."
Have a joke you didn't find in our archive? Submit it here! You can email your joke directly to the following email address.
Thanks in advance!
moe_teachers_network@moe.gov.sg
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